More car stuff – I’ve noticed this tendancy I have in the car to fiddle with the controls – not just when I set out, but pretty much all the way through a journey. I diligently adjust the heater – hot, cold, up, down – the wipers and windowscreen washer …. the radio – volume up and down …. demisting the back window ….. somehow there seems to always be something which isn’t quite as it ‘should’ be, something in need of a tweak, an adjustment, an increment up or down.
What am I doing?
Yes, I’m making sure my arthritic joints in my leg don’t get too cold, whilst not making the car hot enough so I feel sick from the stuffy-ness.
But the constant fiddling, the restlessness of it, the attempt to ‘control’ the environment?
Getting on top of Samsara
There’s a strong sense of trying to ‘fix’ Samsara, to make it right, to make it perfect. I’m trying to get on top of it, to make it how it ‘ought to be’, to somehow turn it into what it isn’t …. to make imperfect somehow perfect.
I sense this ‘control freak’ tendency, which wants to make the world right, to set things straight. And my car is an arena where this tendency is clearly seen and felt. A microcosm world where my controls are all within reach, and whilst I can’t get everyone else to drive properly – at least within my bubble I can try to get ahead, get a grip, and get control!!!!!
Never quite right
But somehow, it never is quite the right temperature, the windows are never quite clean, or at least, in both cases, they may be for a moment, then the winds of Impermanence sweep them away, and they settle again, imperfect and not as desired.
More opportunities to let go, to loosen the grip which wishes to do the ‘God’ thing and set everything right …. and allow things to unfold a little without my vice-like mind trying to control …..