Hi there, just a quick post (and unusually personal post) to say that I’ve been in hospital for a week due to a slipped disc. It’s been a painful time, to say the least, but at least one which gave me much time for reflection.
It was very sad being in the hospital – there were a lot of very old people there in the ward with me, suffering greatly, many of whom were so lonely, and really disorientated, and really not with all their faculties. It was heartbreaking seeing them so.
Oppression, War and Human Suffering by Oswaldo Guayasamin
Blessings, gratitude and joy
All in all it was an extraordinary experience in the hospital – so much going on around me, and so much opportunity to meditate, pray, and reflect on life. I’m struck so powerfully over how my life is so very full of blessings, and I felt much gratitude and joy whilst in hospital. There truly appears to be so much suffering in the world. And yet one sees people trying to alleviate the sufferings that beings undergo.
So much seemed to happen whilst in the hospital, yet what truly happened?
Something of a Bardo, an opening, a blessed chance to assume a somewhat altered vantage point, and have the space free from obligations to bring much awareness to bear.
How vicious indeed are the illusory sufferings of samsara ….. may all beings immediately awaken from forgetfulness
In the stillness I sit on a cushion across from the empty window.
The incense has been swallowed up by the endless night;
My robe has become a garment of white dew.
Unable to sleep, I walk into the garden;
Suddenly, above the highest peak, the round moon appears.
Ryokan
In my early days of Dharma, I was so inspired by Ryokan and his poetry. My hero was Milarepa, and the ideal of the hermit who lived in a cave or hermitage, far from other humans. Solitary, sat in meditation – the idea of this was my source of strength and sustenance. What a beautiful ideal – sitting long hours, looking deep into mind, with only the seasons, animals and nature for company. What more could one want!
Ryokan Taigu
It’s funny how life pans out. Early on in my Dharma days, my first daughter was born, and my life became the family man. Yet my ideal remained the hermit. The way in which I held these two simultaneously – engaged with family and society, and renunciate of worldly ways was the dynamic and story of my Dharma practice. As the years have gone by, my meditation and practice has become less and less about being in particular conditions, and more and more about simply seeing into the nature of mind, however the shimmering shapes that appear in it may be.
The hermit inside, yet out in the world
More and more I feel like the hermit inside, who lives in the world, yet is somehow not bound by it. How beautiful the image of the Buddha, who thoroughly embodied this – in this world, yet not of it! How must that be like, to fully live that to the core? Not caught on the hooks of desire and ill-will, not grasping at appearances, but able to freely move through them as you would move through a rainbow.
How wonderful it is to have family and friends, to experience the richness of what arises in life, yet not be bound to it through falsely imagining solidity where there is not. As my mind loosens, and appearances slowly release their entrancing grip on attention, I find an openness and freedom to glide and slide. How beautiful this release from the tightness of grasping!
Inspired by Ryokan – At Night, Deep in the Mountains
Loosening the intoxication of illusory appearances
If the fruits of practice are this sweet with my poor efforts and realisation, then how must the ultimate fruit be!!!!
May all beings find this peace through loosening the intoxication of illusory appearances, and find the freedom of compassion that flows from the mind that is released!
Inspired by Ryokan – At Night, Deep in the Mountains
Ryokan’s poem
This poem is so beautiful … the wonderful way Ryokan describes how things are … just the bare description, without judgement and interpretation … and as always, the beautiful ending .. the moon appearing …. one feels something of how that would feel in that context … how beautiful, how fitting, how perfect, each thing in its place, just what it is, nothing less, nothing more …. simply ‘thus’ ….
Inspired by Ryokan – At Night, Deep in the Mountains
